7 Tips For Sexual Confidence 

We would probably all love to feel more sexually confident sometimes. Of course, like all types on confidence, much of this comes down to self love and is also fluid, some days you may feel yourself much more than others. Some days we want to dress up and draw attention to ourselves and enjoy that feeling, whereas others we want to blend into the background. 

1.    Mirror affirmations. 
Don’t underestimate the power of auto suggestion! You can find lists of affirmations on Google or Pinterest for everything. My favourite way is to do a search and pick out 3 that resonate with me. For sexual confidence I have been working with these : I am a sexual being... I enjoy my sexuality freely... I approve of myself...

2.    Love your body - more mirror work! 
Each day look at yourself in the mirror, (you don't have to be naked but personally I am trying to do it naked to build my confidence in the nude) and find at least one thing you like and tell yourself. I love the curve of your shoulders. I love how strong my body is. I love my legs because they carry me through my life. You can also write these down as part of a journalling practice. 

3.    Learn about your body and how you respond to sexual pleasure. 
Explore what turns you on. Try different masturbation styles, different toys, different partners. 

4.    Get curious about your sexual pleasure. 
Ask yourself what is happening in your body, how are you responding and how does it feel? Coming from a place of non judgement about your experience you will start to feel more connected with yourself in a positive way. 

5.    Acknowledge the role of culture in how you feel about sex. 
How has your upbringing and conditioning shaped how you view sexual pleasure? Do you have shame about seeking sexual pleasure? Do you feel that your role in sex is perhaps less important than your partner? All of these things add up to our attitudes and many of these feelings aren't even our own, but our parents or our peers. Get curious, figure out how YOU want to feel about sex, not how you think you should feel.

6.    Practice communication. 
During sex with a partner make a pact with yourself to tell them what you really like. You don't have to be critical, but learning to communicate your likes and dislikes is a big part of sexual confidence. 

7.    Learn from your past. 
Take an inventory of your past experiences and figure out what worked for you. What was most memorable? What would you like to repeat or explore further? This is another good journalling exercise, although don't be surprised if a lot of of emotions come up. For many of us sexuality is something that has been taboo, hidden or repressed, and finding our confidence requires us to let go of beliefs about ourselves or others that we may have formed from an early age.